Self-Doubt & Fear Can Be A Positive!
It was July 19, 2009, at 9:30 p.m. After waiting a week for the opportunity to swim the English Channel, it was showtime. With a forecast of strong winds still to come, it was now or never.
During my 10 months of training and preparation, it never crossed my mind that Mother Nature could be so powerful that I might not even get the chance to swim a stroke. The week leading up to my swim, the sun was out, but the winds were blowing at 20–30 knots, creating waves 6–8 feet high. It felt surreal to witness the English Channel transformed by the raw force of Mother Nature, yet achingly bittersweet to see the sun shining above a sea too wild to swim in.
In the days leading up to my swim, I watched other swimmers reluctantly leave England as the weather continued to deteriorate. After so much training, it was disheartening to see them leave without even getting the chance to try. I began to wonder if I would suffer the same fate. Then I received a call from Captain Foreman.
“If you don’t go tonight, you will not get a chance to swim the Channel. There’s a small window before more bad weather arrives.”
Swimming through the night didn’t intimidate me. I had trained for that. But the sheer force of the waves created an uneasiness I hadn’t experienced before. I began to question whether I could handle conditions this extreme and whether the waves might ultimately be my downfall. Still, I knew there was no other choice but to face them.
As the boat left the safety of the harbor, waves crashed against the bow, sending water splashing over my head. The raw power of Mother Nature was nothing to be reckoned with, and for the first time, I genuinely questioned whether I could sustain a swim in these conditions.
I was sitting with Mike Carson, my best friend in arms and the person responsible for my feedings throughout the swim, when I turned to him and said, “I don’t know if I want to do this anymore.”
In that moment, I remembered the 10 months of training I had put in at the pool and in Lake Michigan. I had swum mile after mile in rough water, battling high waves and water temperatures ranging from 52–60 degrees. I had prepared for this.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and reminded myself that this was just another training session. I didn't need to be fearless. I just needed to trust my preparation, do my best, and take it one stroke at a time.
I swam to shore and crawled out of the water onto jagged pebbles beneath my feet, which only intensified my uneasiness. I turned and looked back toward the boat, now about 500 yards away. Seeing the people supporting me in the distance reminded me why I had started this journey in the first place.
Slowly, my fear and self-doubt gave way to resilience and a quiet sense of certainty.
I can do this.
The boat horn sounded, and I began my swim toward France.
I remember the darkness above and below me, seemingly never ending. The waves were intense, and every stroke demanded my attention. But thankfully, Captain Foreman was right. After several hours, the English Channel began to calm, and I could finally settle into the rhythm of the swim.
Looking back, what I learned was that preparation is the key to success.
We hear this all the time, but how often do we truly prepare ourselves for the challenges we want to overcome? Preparation is about more than physical training. It builds confidence, creates discipline, and gives us something to fall back on when doubt starts creeping in.
When you have put in the work, your mind and body know what to do, even when your emotions tell you otherwise. You don't have to overthink every move. You trust your training, focus on the task in front of you, and keep going one stroke at a time.
In many ways, preparing for the swim was just as rewarding as the swim itself. The months of training taught me lessons that went far beyond the English Channel.
And here's something else I learned: self-doubt and fear aren't always negative.
Sometimes, they remind us of the magnitude of what we're attempting. They force us to respect the challenge, question our readiness, and recognize where we need to grow. The goal isn't to eliminate fear; it's to prepare ourselves well enough that fear doesn't get to make the final decision.
No matter what you're trying to conquer, prepare to your fullest, trust the work you've put in, and go after it!
With love,
Comments